Monday, September 23, 2019

Osama Bin Laden Jay Leno Jokes

"The latest report is that Osama bin Laden has shaved his beard, is wearing Western clothes and has had plastic surgery. Isn't that amazing? The guy has made just two videos and he's already gone Hollywood." â€Â"Jay Leno
"According to the New York Daily News, Geraldo said he is now carrying a gun, and he will personally shoot Osama bin Laden if he finds him. If Osama also has a gun, this could work out okay." â€Â"Jay Leno
"Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said this week there's a good chance we never get bin Laden. bin Laden! We couldn't even get O.J.!" â€Â"Jay Leno
"There's a new Osama bin Laden video. He's the only person that is looking thin during the holidays. How does he do it? I think he's going to Jenny Craig." â€Â"Jay Leno
"More bad news for the Taliban. Remember how they are promised 72 virgins when they die? Turns out that it's only one 72-year-old virgin." â€Â"Jay Leno
"It looks like we are going to have to set up a new government in Afghanistan, which is not going to be easy. After our last election, look how long it took us to set up our own government." â€Â"Jay Leno
"Geraldo Rivera is headed for Afghanistan. Boy, you thought those people hated us before." â€Â"Jay Leno
"You know what the bounty is on bin Laden? $25 million. It sounds like a lot until you realize the Texas Rangers paid $250 million to get Alex Rodriguez." â€Â"Jay Leno
"President Bush addressed the nation on some of the networks. NBC and CBS refused to preempt 'Friends' and 'Survivor' for the president. So God forbid, let's hope the enemy never attacks on a Thursday night." â€Â"Jay Leno
"There was a rumor that Jesse Jackson was going to go over there to talk with the Taliban, apparently they were having trouble rhyming the word Jihad." â€Â"Jay Leno
"U.S. Government has said they are now going to go after the terrorist's electronic banking system. You know what they should do? They should transfer bin Laden's funds to my bank. They'd mess up his deposits, screw up his statement and nickel and dime him to death with service charges." â€Â"Jay Leno
"More and more details coming out now about spoiled rich kid Osama bin Laden. Time reports this week he was one of 52 kids. Mother must be exhausted. This guy inherited $80 million at age 13 and has since expanded it to $300 million through construction, smart investments and gas and oil investments. This way, he can use the money in his war against capitalism." â€Â"Jay Leno
"The leaders of the Taliban said today that killing bin Laden won't solve the problem. But, you know, it couldn't hurt." â€Â"Jay Leno
"More and more facts coming out about Osama bin Laden. You know, he never sleeps in the same place two nights in a row, just like Clinton." â€Â"Jay Leno
"This Osama bin Laden guy, spoiled rich kid worth $300M. I have three words for this guy: Anna Nicole Smith. We send her over there, she'll get his money, he'll be dead in a week." â€Â"Jay Leno

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