Saturday, October 28, 2017

Halloween funny Jokes 2017 - P1

1. Story of two ghosts
Two ghosts meet by chance in the cemetery.
Ghost 1: Looking at your face, dead?

Ghost 2: Uhm, just die the other day.

Ghost 1: Oh so my brother died the same day, so why are you dead?

Ghost 2: I die free. At first my hands freeze aches and pains, then I fell asleep. She is so quiet. And what about you?

Ghost 1: I was horrified by my wife.

Ghost 2: Why did you marry your wife?

Ghost 1: Knowing my wife's adultery, I pretend to go away and go home unexpectedly, seeing my wife lying naked on the bed. So I ran to find the other boy. Do not go to the loft, into the warehouse is not, to go to the bathroom search I tired too heart attack to die.

Ghost 2: What's your name?

Ghost 1: $% # @ $ #% $ #

Listen to here Ghost 2 to hit Ghost 1, just hit the curse:

- You fool, you do not look in the refrigerator first. If you look in that before, I do not have to die with you.

2. Ma also obey traffic law
Before the cemetery there are two ghosts are walking, suddenly saw a car parked near and in the car is a pair of lovers.

Two ghosts discuss each other to take a ride. Actually the two ghosts also do not have to spend too much to see two ghosts are couples who run away always.

Suddenly a ghost said:

- Wait a minute!

Finished and then run to the sea without a graveyard, a long time after it returned to carry two gravestones.

The ghost asked in surprise:

- What do you carry around this beer?

- Do you mean to go by car without carrying personal papers?

3. Does the ghost catch up?
After a long night of drunkenness, the two young men left the bar, jumped into the car and started the engine.
After a few minutes, an old man appeared outside the window and taped the glass.

One of the men shouted:

- Look out the window. Ghost!

The driver accelerated but his face was still old in the window. Your companion lowered the window glass, asked:

- What do you want?

The man calmly asked:

- Do you have cigarettes?

Run, he handed the medicine to him and just turned the window up shouting to the driver:

- Push up the gas!

Minutes later, they regained their composure and began to laugh. The driver said:

- I do not understand what happened, but do not worry, the speedometer is only 80 miles an hour, the ghost does not catch up.

Suddenly, a tap on the window sounded and the old man came out.

- He's back!

The companion shouted.

He lowered his window and shook his head.

- What?

- Do you have a fire?

He threw the lighter out the window and screamed:

- Stunting all the way!

They fired at 100 miles an hour, trying to forget what they had just heard and heard, and suddenly there was a knock.

- Oh my God! He turned around!

The guy pulled the window down and screamed in horror:

- What is this?

The old gentleman replied:

- Do you need me to pull out of the quagmire?

4. In the past I was afraid of ghosts
A very scared ghost girl to go to school more in the evening, the road to school is a very quiet.

She always hoped someone along the way would help her.

One day she saw a guy cycling the same way with her. Happy, she ran up to accompany, after a while chatting, the girl said:

- I'm afraid of ghosts, go alone this road I'm afraid, thank you for having him go!

The boy smiled at the girl, affectionately:

- When you are alive too!

5. I think the girl is a ghost
A taxi driver late at 12 noon suddenly saw a girl in white waving, believe in what the ghosts do, he put the girl into the car.

The girl on the back seat sat and said coldly: Let me go near the city cemetery. Slightly scary, he turned the wheel. Take a walk, accidentally looked behind the rearview mirror does not see the girl where, startled his brakes turn a car look back. The girl who was sitting there looked at him with angry eyes and did not say anything.

After a while, a little bit of faith left over is doing nothing evil, he continued to wheelchair speed higher than expected to quickly end the journey. Then he did not squeeze his curiosity, he glanced back at the rearview mirror, and the girl disappeared.

With real panic, he stopped the car and looked back, the girl with fiery glare gazed at him, his mouth and nose with deadly blood. Still cold voice with a bit of anger, the girl said:

- You crazy, I hate you with that two times I bent down to tie the shoelace, you brake the car make me nose bleeding bloody nose this.


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