Thursday, October 3, 2019

Favorite TV Shows Jokes

October 03, 2019 0


Bin Ladens Favorite TV Shows
"Mad About Everything"
"Allah McBeal"
"Full House" of Bin Ladens
"Guantanamo Bay Break"
"According To Bin Laden"
"Malcom is an infidel"
"Survivor: Fallujah"
"Hussein Legal"
CSI: Fallujah
CSI: Baghdad
CSI: Tehran
"Wheel of Terror and Fortune"
"The Price is Right If Usama Says Its Right"
"How I Met the Infidel"
"Buffy The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer"
"U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"
"Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread"
"Just Shoot Everyone"
"Veilwatch"
"Matima Loves Chachi"
"M*U*S*T*A*S*H"
"My Two Baghdads"
"Diagnosis: Heresy"
"Judge Laden"
"Who Wants To Execute A Multimillionaire"





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Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Butt One-Liners Jokes

September 24, 2019 0


J Lo's Butt is so big that they still can't find the last chair she sat on. J Lo's Butt is so powerful she can crack walnuts with her ass cheeks Joke Generators: Click Here for a random Pick Up Line Click Here for a random Yo Mama Joke Click Here for a random Dirty Joke Click Here for a random Ethnic Joke Click Here for a random Blonde Joke Click Here for a random Knock Knock Joke Click Here for a Random Joke (all other categories)


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Monday, September 23, 2019

Kevin Federline Jokes

September 23, 2019 0





Kevin Federline is so stupid that when he saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, he went home put 16 of his friends and family into Pimps and Hoes jumpsuits and took them to the theater.
Kevin Federline is so gay he thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Kevin Federline is so gay he thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.
Why did Kevin Federline shit everywhere while recording Popozao, because he thought the lyrics said Poo Poo Now.
Why isn't Kevin Federline allowed on Rodeo Drive, because he can get any rich girl pregnant just by looking at her.



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World's Oldest Profession Joke

September 23, 2019 0





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Osama Bin Laden Jay Leno Jokes

September 23, 2019 0


"The latest report is that Osama bin Laden has shaved his beard, is wearing Western clothes and has had plastic surgery. Isn't that amazing? The guy has made just two videos and he's already gone Hollywood." â€Â"Jay Leno
"According to the New York Daily News, Geraldo said he is now carrying a gun, and he will personally shoot Osama bin Laden if he finds him. If Osama also has a gun, this could work out okay." â€Â"Jay Leno
"Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said this week there's a good chance we never get bin Laden. bin Laden! We couldn't even get O.J.!" â€Â"Jay Leno
"There's a new Osama bin Laden video. He's the only person that is looking thin during the holidays. How does he do it? I think he's going to Jenny Craig." â€Â"Jay Leno
"More bad news for the Taliban. Remember how they are promised 72 virgins when they die? Turns out that it's only one 72-year-old virgin." â€Â"Jay Leno
"It looks like we are going to have to set up a new government in Afghanistan, which is not going to be easy. After our last election, look how long it took us to set up our own government." â€Â"Jay Leno
"Geraldo Rivera is headed for Afghanistan. Boy, you thought those people hated us before." â€Â"Jay Leno
"You know what the bounty is on bin Laden? $25 million. It sounds like a lot until you realize the Texas Rangers paid $250 million to get Alex Rodriguez." â€Â"Jay Leno
"President Bush addressed the nation on some of the networks. NBC and CBS refused to preempt 'Friends' and 'Survivor' for the president. So God forbid, let's hope the enemy never attacks on a Thursday night." â€Â"Jay Leno
"There was a rumor that Jesse Jackson was going to go over there to talk with the Taliban, apparently they were having trouble rhyming the word Jihad." â€Â"Jay Leno
"U.S. Government has said they are now going to go after the terrorist's electronic banking system. You know what they should do? They should transfer bin Laden's funds to my bank. They'd mess up his deposits, screw up his statement and nickel and dime him to death with service charges." â€Â"Jay Leno
"More and more details coming out now about spoiled rich kid Osama bin Laden. Time reports this week he was one of 52 kids. Mother must be exhausted. This guy inherited $80 million at age 13 and has since expanded it to $300 million through construction, smart investments and gas and oil investments. This way, he can use the money in his war against capitalism." â€Â"Jay Leno
"The leaders of the Taliban said today that killing bin Laden won't solve the problem. But, you know, it couldn't hurt." â€Â"Jay Leno
"More and more facts coming out about Osama bin Laden. You know, he never sleeps in the same place two nights in a row, just like Clinton." â€Â"Jay Leno
"This Osama bin Laden guy, spoiled rich kid worth $300M. I have three words for this guy: Anna Nicole Smith. We send her over there, she'll get his money, he'll be dead in a week." â€Â"Jay Leno


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Foreign Leaders Jokes

September 23, 2019 0



During a World Economic Summit, George W Bush, Mexican President Vincente Fox, Russian President Vladimir Putin, and French Prime minister Jacques Chirac are ceremonially riding in Japan's newest bullet train. As you might know all of these political leaders have big egos and this is what ensued. George Bush says "This is a fine bottle of wine Prime Minister Chirac" Upon hearing this Prime Minister Chirac throws out a case of France's finest wine and says "In France fine wine is bountiful and plenty!" Not to be outdone by Vladimir Putin who then throws out two cases of Russia's finest Vodka "In Russia premier vodka spirits flow like the Volga River" President Bush not wanting to seem weak, thinks for a moment, looks at Mexican president Vicente Fox, and throws him out the window.


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Jon Stewart Jokes - Arnold Schwarzenegger Jokes

September 23, 2019 0


"Time was, our leaders were all veterans of World War II, the Korean conflict or even the struggle for civil rights. But now, with the election of Jesse Ventura in Minnesota and Arnold Schwarzenegger in California, it is clear that the next generation of political leaders will all come from the movie 'Predator.'" —Stephen Colbert, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
"Bush joked last week during his meeting with Schwarzenegger that they are both sometimes accused of misspeaking the language. Mr. President, he's from a foreign country." —Jon Stewart
"Arnold Schwarzenegger was sworn in as governor yesterday in the mystical land of the west known as Kali-forn-ia. Celebrities attended the event, including national anthem singer Vanessa Williams. But the moment everyone was waiting for was the swearing in. The Bible used for the swearing in ceremony was 200 years old and belonged to his in-laws, the Kennedys. That may explain why the Leviticus chapter is interspersed with the phone numbers of Rockettes." —Jon Stewart





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Sunday, September 22, 2019

Osama Bin Laden Conan O'Brien Jokes

September 22, 2019 0


"The Defense Department ... says that troops in Afghanistan have discovered several more tapes of Osama bin Laden speaking with his followers. ... And if you order the whole set right now, they'll throw in 'The Taliban's Wet 'n' Wild Spring Break'" â€Â"Conan O'Brien
"Geraldo Rivera says Osama bin Laden is hiding out in Pakistan ... which means the most hated man in Afghanistan is now Geraldo Rivera." â€Â"Conan O'Brien
"It was reported today that Osama Bin Laden has 50 brothers and sisters. Which absolutely shocked me because I had no idea he was Catholic" â€Â"Conan O'Brien


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Jay Leno Jokes - Arnold Schwarzenegger Jokes

September 22, 2019 0



"Arnold Schwarzenegger will probably be the keynote speaker at the Republican National Convention, which is very smart, because after Schwarzenegger speaks, Bush's English won't sound so bad." —Jay Leno "Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he is going to ask President Bush for help with the budget. What better way to deal with a $38 billion deficit than get advice from a guy that created a $450 billion deficit." —Jay Leno
"As you know Arnold is investigating himself. He will subpoena both of his hands, and if he finds any evidence of wrongdoing he is going to sue himself." —Jay Leno "In Washington, Arnold Schwarzenegger met with Vice President Dick Cheney. So, the Terminator met the Defibrillator. The difference between Schwarzenegger and Cheney is that when Cheney grabs a chest, it's his own." —Jay Leno
"Immediately after Arnold was sworn in, Gloria Alred jumped in: "While you have your hand on the Bible, IÂ'd like to ask you a few questions." —Jay Leno "More problems for Governor-elect Arnold Schwarzenegger. California Attorney General Bill Locklear has suggested a special toll free number be set up for women to call in allegations about Arnold's past. I have a better idea — why not make it a 900 number and charge $1.99 a minute. We'll pay off that $33 billion dollars right there." —Jay Leno
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Taliban Porn Sites Jokes

September 22, 2019 0




Maybe you heard the news. The FBI is investigating reports that Osama Bin Laden may actually be using porn sites on the Internet to send coded messages to members of the Al Qaeda network here in the U.S. This of course brings several questions to mind. First of all, isn’t it supposed to be a really big sin if these guys look at porn? And second, which sites does Osama use to get his messages out? We’re not sure about that first one but we have researched and uncovered the top 5 porn sites visited by Al Qaeda network members: #5. Bare Burka.com #4. Al Show You My Qaeda.com #3. Hide In My Cave.com #2. Shake Your Tali-bon bon.com #1. Ji-STRING-had


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Yo Mama Miscellaneous Jokes

September 22, 2019 0




Yo mama mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound. Yo mama like a cigarette, I have her 40 times a day and she's killing me Yo mama's snatch has more friends then Tom on MySpace Yo mama's like a gas station... pay before you pump Yo mama's pussy so nasty, they make you eat it during "Fear Factor" Yo mama gums are so black she spits Yoo-hoo. Yo mama breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck. I saw your mama at the freak show petting the world's largest turtle. I saw your mama kicking a can down the street. I asked her what she was doing, and she said "Moving." Yo mama teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice.
Yo mama feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates! Yo mama aint so bad...she would give you the hair off of her back!
Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving. Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.
Yo mama house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies! Yo mama house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
You Mama smokes so many cigarettes she sold your ass for a pack of Newports Yo mama nose so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat! Yo mama nose so big that her neck broke from the weight! Yo mama's snatch is so dry even her crabs carry cantenes Yo mama so country when she got in an elevator she thought it was a new mobile home Yo mama like Walmart, she's still the low price leader Yo mama got more extensions, then AT&T Yo mama has a glass leg and she uses windex for lotion Yo mama got more clap than an auditorium Yo mama such an old whore she slept with the Father, The Son, and the Holy Ghost Yo mama lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray. Yo MamaÂ's so EZ, She iz like a light switch, anybody or anything can turn her on It took yo mama 10 tries to get her drivers license, she couldnt get used to the front seat! Yo mama hips are so big, people set their drinks on them. Yo mama look like Cedric the Entertainer with a wig yo mamma is so dry you make the Sahara Desert look wet submitted by: bob_95 Yo mama like Comcast I haven't paid her in like 3 months Yo mama so nice she'd give me the hair off her back Yo mama dress so bright she looks like she got lost in a crayon store yo mama was born on April 1st. guess that means she was a joke! submitted by: sierraprejean Yo mama hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it. Yo mama so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone. yo momma glasses so thick and unbreakable its how Corning invented "Gorilla Glass" submitted by: tayab_ali01 You mama so smart, when she was under House Arrest, she sailed around the world in her House Boat submitted by: Puddles3522 Yo mama is like a television even a three year old can turn her on Yo mama so easy, I asked her what time is it and she said time to fuck Yo mamma jokes are SOOOO old... they aint even funny even more. Yo mama has two penises and your one of them Yo mama is like a mesqito she wont stop suckin to you slap her Yo mama so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on. Yo mama so small, she can use a bottle cap as a surf board. submitted by: jordanwilcosky Yo mama twice the man you are. Q: Whats the difference between yo mama and gas prices? A: Gas prices keep going up on the public and yo mama keeps going down on the public Yo mama cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo. Your moms like a bowling ball. She gets greased up, fingered, thrown in the gutter, then comes back for more. Yo mama is missing a finger and can't count past nine. Yo mama's hairline so far back on her it looks like its on somebody else's head Yo mamma so smart that she knew there was no difference between your face and a pile of trash submitted by: cyborg1020 Yo mama's profile so jacked up she has her own reality show "Pimp my sides" Yo mama like the hardware store, only 25 cents a screw Yo mama breathe smell so bad she need prescription strength tic-tacs Yo mamas butt hairs are so long they get clogged in the toilet when she flushes Yo mama arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear I don't know what sucks more your yo mama jokes or your mom Yo mama in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna puch me 'round no more." Yo mama rouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals. yo mama so drunck she went to a bar an looked in the mirror an started to cus her self out submitted by: mscherrybottem Yo momma's dandruff is so bad, everytime she dances, school gets cancelled for a snow day. submitted by: HPFanOver9000 Yo mama is like a brick, she gets laid by mexicans. submitted by: ehscorpion Yo mama so stinky that when she weny in public everybody said damn is an animal or what submitted by: inanmi1990 Yo mama is so hunched-back, she has to wear goggles when she takes a piss. submitted by: rmarrero128 yo mama so black she jumped in the ocean everybody said look at that oil spill submitted by: annieturner1 Yo mama so small she can glide from a dorito submitted by: dasheanhavis9 Yo mama so white that when she fell in the snow people said, where'd she go? submitted by: mansfeilddime Yo mama breath so hot when she yawned she popped a bag of popcorn. submitted by: Davina071394 Yo mama so black when she sat on a black couch she blended in. submitted by: nwalker Yo mama so kind, I broke her hip, I ate her muffins, I smashed her lamp, and and I deleted her favorite show (Doc.Mcstuffins) and she did not seem to mind. submitted by: Lauren.fleming04 Yo mama is so mean they don't give her happy meals at McDonalds! submitted by: eric-aguilar123 Yo mama like Home Depot,"If you can do it, we can help" submitted by: mweinhoffer Yo mama's house so dirty I had to wipe my feey coming out the house submitted by: starmeer Yo mama so hot that if you take one look at her you eyes melt out of your head submitted by: ctcan123456789 You so ugly yo mama had to feed you with a slingshot. submitted by: coolcat95 Your moms like a brick she gets laid by Mexicans submitted by: ehscorpion Yo mama so full of shit her eyes are brown. submitted by: colinmorra yo mama so smelly when she farts people accuses her of global warming submitted by: jacoviswatson Yo mama is like a gas station, when you pay she pumps! submitted by: misschieve Yo Mama So smelly She Make Right Guard Turn Left, Secret Tell It All, And Speed Stick Slow Down! submitted by: mcdaniel1533 Yo mama breath so stank, her teeth makes plans to escape. submitted by: limbocrazy2123 Yo mama is like a shotgun all she's interested in is cocking and blowing submitted by: perrydavid23 Yo mama breath so stank, her tooth brush prays every night submitted by: limbocrazy2123 Yo mama so easy a caveman can do her submitted by: papaspecialgirl Yo mama so white that when she fell in the snow people said whered she go submitted by: mansfeilddime Yo mamas like a vaccum she sucks blows and gets laid in the closet submitted by: dennisrocks177 Yo mama so stank so bad she scared the sewer away submitted by: bbarrett3077 Yo family is so black when they hold hands they look like a hummer limo? submitted by: son1cf1re Yo mama so gay she had sex with her grandma who was 87 years old. submitted by: melvina_hilliard Yo momma so racist, that she made her boyfriend suck the color out of her. submitted by: keithreshod yo mama so easy a caveman can do her yo momma so chatty that she signed into Skype and it said ERROR too much infomation submitted by: andrewkoffman234



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Conan O'Brien Jokes - Martha Stewart Jokes

September 22, 2019 0




"Earlier today, the jury at the Martha Stewart trial reached a verdict. Martha was found guilty on all charges. In a related story, there's a huge sale at K-Mart." —Conan O'Brien
"This is serious, if Martha gets the maximum sentence on all counts, she could serve 20 years in prison. Of course, you have to take off time off for good behavior, which means 20 years in prison." —Conan O'Brien
"In New York the other day, there was a pro-Martha Stewart rally. Only four people showed up ... and three of them were made out of crepe paper!" —Conan O'Brien
"When reached for comment on the charges, Martha didn't say much, (only) that a subpoena should be served with a nice appetizer." —Conan O'Brien
"Tom Ridge announced a new color-coded alarm system. ... Green means everything's okay. Red means we're in extreme danger. And champagne-fuschia means we're being attacked by Martha Stewart." —Conan O'Brien

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Jay Leno Jokes - Martha Stewart Jokes

September 22, 2019 0



"As you know President Bush has been traveling around the country trying to sell his new Social Security plan. He wants to take our retirement money and invest it in the stock market. He says nothing can go wrong. I'll mention that to Martha Stewart the next time I see her." --Jay Leno
"Martha Stewart published her recipe for disaster -- mix one part arrogance with two parts incompetence, simmer in the juices and then serve hot in the can." â€Â"Jay Leno
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Saturday, September 21, 2019

Osama Bin Laden One-Liner Jokes

September 21, 2019 0


Q: How do you play Taliban bingo? A: B-52...F-16...B-1...
Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone? A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
Q: What is the Taliban's national bird? A: Duck
Q: What do Bin Laden and Hiroshima have in common? A: Nothing, yet.
Q: What does Osama bin laden and General Custer have in common? A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from! Q: Why doesn't the Taliban have drivers ed and sex ed classes on the same day? A: Because the camels can't handle it.
Q: What's the five-day forecast for Afghanistan? A: Two days.
Q:Why did Bin Ladin stop having sex with his wife? A:Because everytime he would spread her legs he saw Bush! submitted by: HI_ME_JACK


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